Stone number nine is a nine patch quilt! I am a quilter (or at least I can quilt but I haven't finished many projects). Isaiah 66:13 says "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you..."
This verse was put on the stone I think more as a reminder to me of my job. As a mom it is easy to comfort my girls when they are getting sleepy and we are tucking them into bed. It is easy to comfort them when they get bumps and bruises when playing. Other times I find this job very hard.
There are times our girls tell us that something is not "fair". We see most of those as opportunities to teach them about real life. Life isn't always fair and our little rule keepers struggle with this idea in general.
I worried a lot about both girls when Alex was in and out of the hospital a lot as a toddler and preschooler.
For Alex I was asking her to follow directions and be brave under circumstances that I know to be unjust. She is a very difficult stick (for either lab draws or IVs). The closest thing I can relate these sessions to is a torture. Many times these would occur in her sickest moments when it was vital for the IV to be running through her. I can still see some of these moments and remember the fears I had. I had to look her in the eyes trying to help her to calm down and be brave. Often there were many people at her bedside holding her down so they could try again to find a good vein. I had to be brave. I wanted to grab her and run away but I knew the only chance she had for survival was getting these IVs going. It was hard. I wondered if she would hate me as she got older. I did the best I could knowing it was all I could do. Some times (usually in the middle of the night) her IVs infiltrate. This is especially painful for her. As a toddler it was often a guessing game to know what was happening. We were both usually exhausted too. It is hard to know how to comfort when a hug is painful and sleep is needed for both of us. The comfort I have now is that we have a lot of experience behind us. I can say she is the bravest person I have ever known. Somehow we have a routine that we find comforting these days and she does look to me to help her through them. She is a trooper and my heart melts.
For Claire it was hard to say good-night at the hospital while someone else took her home and put her to bed. It is hard to let Dad get her ready for picture day while Mom is in the hospital with Sis. It is hard to help her with a bad day when I am focused on getting Alex to a doctor's appointment. It is hard letting someone else comfort her instead of me.
Some of the more difficult times for me to comfort the girls is when things are truly "unfair". It is unfair that our family plans are cancelled due to the threat of illness of Alex. It is hard for half our family to attend a family funeral while the others go to the hospital. It is unfair that we do not join friends in certain activities because it is not a safe choice for Alex. It is unfair that both parents can not have dinner with you on your ninth birthday because we are admitting your sister to the hospital. It is unfair that you have to grow up living concepts of trust and uncertainty that even the adults in your family find difficult to understand. These are the moments that I play over and over. Often we cuddle on the couch. Often we cry. Then we make a plan and move on.
While we are better at handling these situations I think I forget that these are the ones that I need to actively comfort the girls for still. They are good troopers but I don't always remember to help them move through their emotions of disappointment. We think they should be good at it by now. They are still growing and changing.
I am amazed they are the vibrant girls they are today. They are independent. They are engaged in the life they are living. They are aware of others around them. They are girls of good character. Somewhere along the way I can see that God has always been there for them (and me) comforting us along the way. His love truly does comfort us.
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