Day 13... SLEEP (written LAST #31Days) and not published

Today I found a blog post from LAST YEAR when I wrote about the Unexpected Journey.  It was a good entry.  I'm not sure why I didn't post it.  It's funny.  This very topic has been on my heart off and on for the past few months.  I realize this issue may have been more defining for Miss Alex's health than I ever realized.  I will never know but it is becoming clear that we have done somethings that have made a remarkable difference in her life.  I don't like to take credit for it, really it was God acting in her life.  I still firmly believe that He has a plan for her and He is the one who decided she needs to thrive in this world.  We simply walked one step at a time.  Here is my entry titled "SLEEP".

written October 2013
Ok, confession.  I LIKE sleep.  Really I do!  It also takes me a while to fall asleep at night.  My husband can fall asleep anytime any where (preferably NOT while driving).  

Of course we are typical parents and we expected to get very little sleep with a newborn in our home.  What we didn't expect was how long we wouldn't get a full nights sleep..............  11 YEARS!!!  yep, you read that correctly.

Let me ask you, if a doctor told you that the way to keep your baby safe (after VERY SCARY EVENTS) was to wake up (or stay awake) every night for 11 years, what would your answer be?  I think we all think we would say "yes".  No one ever told us a timeline, just that it was necessary.   

While I would love to tell you that we embraced those feedings with love, compassion, and sweetness I must confess that we didn't.  There have been many bargains made between us loving parents.  Apparently we are not our best with little sleep.  

If I had known the length of time we would be on that routine I don't know if I would have embraced the task.  As a matter of fact one of my most vivid battles with this occurred when she was about five or six months old.  It was a 2:30 am feeding.  I was mad.  Mad at God.  I didn't think I could keep my head up to feed her that night.  I simply didn't want to do this any more.  It was hard and I remember wrestling with God about this.  I KNEW I should be thankful I had a chance to take care of this sweet gift.  I KNEW I should have a better attitude about this.  I didn't.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't move past it.  But the next time I did.  Eventually I made peace with God on this.  He changed my heart about this.  

God taught me a lot about being diligent in those days.  This was what I needed to do.  Whether I did it with a happy heart or a grumbling one I needed to do it.  

The thing was I got to watch her grow.  For many years beyond what most parents get to experience my husband and I have gotten a few extra minutes to cuddle with our girl and feed her.  Her sweaty curls would just stick out from her head.  Her eyes usually stayed closed.  She was precious.  A true gift.  This "midnight snack" was really a gift too.

Things eventually switched around and my hubby got the job.  Sleep comes easily for him and it didn't disrupt him as much as it did me.   I watched with awe as he secretly treasured these times with her.  I know that each time he fed her he became more of a hero to me and her.  This too is a sweet picture along this sleep-deprived journey.

What is my conclusion?  We still like sleep.  After 11 years no one is complaining that the schedule has changed.  I still REALLY like sleep.  I may also still be a tad anxious on some nights thinking she might need extra (and I'm certain there will be some "midnight snacks" ahead when her body needs them).

.... Another year later we still like our SLEEP.  We are thankful for all of us to be able to sleep through the night.  We do not take this simple act lightly in our house.