For ten years I have been the mother of two girls.  When my youngest entered the world my world completely changed....  and yet, it didn't.  My youngest daughter has an inherited metabolic disorder.  I have learned so much over the last ten years.  I have found joy in unexpected ways.  I am stronger.  I am weaker.  I am blessed. 

For the next 31 days I am going to write about days, thoughts, ideas and fun that I have experienced as their mother.  Some are just FUN.  Some are memorable.  Some may even be sad.

Welcome to the opening of this part of my heart.

Day 1
Sparkly Sunglasses

I don't remember exactly when it was I got the sunglasses.  I do know where.  I think this was during the winter or early spring when Alex was about a year and a half old and we were in and out of the hospital a LOT!  There they were, pink sparkly sunglasses.  I always wear sunglasses.  I never pay more than $10 for them because they break or get lost.  I think I must have had a gift card.  Somehow I justified my purchase (I think they were about $30, nothing too extravagant).  They made me SMILE!  They made me feel "happy".  I HAD to have them.

During those days I remember grasping for anything that seemed "normal" or "fun" just to help me keep moving as though everything would be alright.  Also I was drawn to anything pink (always thinking of my girls).  They were so sparkly and I wore them EVERYWHERE.  When indoors they were on my head like a headband.  I got so many compliments on those sunglasses.  The truth is, they made me smile.  The pink sparkles helped me hold on to the fun "life" of having two little girls.  Often I found myself fighting that sinking feeling that I would not be strong enough to handle all that was before me.  I didn't have to prove anything to anyone.  I had to prove a LOT to my self.  The everydayness of those glasses kept giving me something that would make me smile. 

I remember when the first jewel started to come loose and I realized that I would have to replace those glasses.  I was sad.  They seemed to be able to help me smile a little more.  Eventually my practical mind took hold and I replaced them.  Many sunglasses have followed, but I do know that in the recess of a drawer I still have my pink sparkly sunglasses. 

I saw an old photo of me wearing those just the other day.  The sunglases made me smile.  It made me realize how sometimes it is little insignificant things often turn out to be symbols of important times in our lives.  These sunglasses are a reminder to smile THROUGH the difficult times.  They remind me that God's little sparkly gifts are more amazing the older they get.  God has blessed me with two beautiful and amazing girls.  They make me smile.  I think they are the sparkly pink things that shine right through me every day.