The Gift of a Grey Day

Do you enjoy the gift of a grey day?  Today is a grey kind of day here.  I breath in a tad deeper and pause just a moment.  Today is a gift.

Some grey days are great for curling up with a good book.  Some are perfect for a movie marathon.  Some grey days fit a melancholy mood.  They are a stark contrast to the sunny HOT days we often seen here in Texas.

Life is busy and hectic.  Often we move at such a fast pace that we need to stop and enjoy a grey day.

Today is not a slow day or less hectic.  I can not curl up with a book or cuddle with my girls and watch movies all day.  Instead it is full.

I long just a tad for those days when my girls were little.  I also remember that many grey days in a row can drag on.  I remember days when the grey fit my mood and God met me there.  I think on sweet times of being home and the schedule didn't move by as fast.

This morning as I gaze out the window ready to get on with the day I pause and breath deeply.    I am refreshed by God's beautiful grey day.

Day 31... Just Another Day #31days

So today marks the last day of the writing challenge I began 31 days ago.

Thank you to those who have read along and encouraged me too.  This was a personal mission I started and am pleased to say that I have finished!  There are so many stories that have gone into making our family and God has done so many things.  The most important thing I can do is tell what God has done.

Today is October 31.  What does that mean to you?  For us it is Nana's birthday!  It has been a fun tradition to celebrate her birthday every year by dressing up in costume and handing out candy to "spookies" (as Claire named them when she was very little and it has stuck).

It is also a fun time to remember the creative and fun stages our girls have been through.

 From the sweet fairies of that first year to the year both girls were nurses (seriously we had been in the hospital way too much that year.

 to Hannah Montana and Lola...

 to the traditional 50's girls...

a kitty and the tooth fairy....

and the princess girls....

One that stands out to represent "us" the best was the year they were ducks....

You see Miss Alex was on "homebound" (that's doctor code for complete isolation from everyone so you don't get H1N1) for 10 weeks.  The few occasions she went anywhere or was around anyone she had to wear a mask.  We didn't want to miss out on our October 31 traditions so we got creative.  We figured out how to paint one of the masks and make it look like a duck bill.  Claire joined the fun and the rest just sort of happened.  That was a FUN night.  Family and friends "trick or treated" by and she got her love tanks nicely filled up (she didn't even break rules, she just wore her costume AND got LOTS of hugs in the process).  I remember the girls doing the Chicken Dance with Nana and there was a lot of giggling going on.  Apparently it is fun to be a duck!

What I love about this is it represents our approach to our "normal" life.  It may seem hard.  It may call for sad days and disappointments but God made us creative.  We have learned to take the detours of our journey and turn them into amazing moments that this mom treasures in her heart.

Day 30... Quiet Hope #31days

We all go through times of trial and struggle.  It is part of life.  

I am typically an NIV kind of girl.  I grew up learning God's word with an NIV Bible.  I am finding that there are times that reading different versions can offer me a fresh perspective.

During a season of difficulty and heavy stress I stumbled upon this verse.

Lamentations 3:26-33 (MSG) says "It is a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.  When life is heavy and hard to take go off by yourself.  Enter the silence.  Bow in prayer.  Don't ask questions.  Wait for hope to appear...  The master won't ever walk out and fail to return."

I love the idea that it is ok to quietly hope for help from God.    I often find that the silence of the early morning is easier to "bow in prayer".  As I start a new day I make up my bed and glance out the window of my bedroom.  Each morning I get a glimpse of God's amazing handiwork as the sun begins to peak up from behind the pond across the street.  It seems that it is easier to find comfort in God's hand when I watch Him create a new day.  Sigh...  this makes my heart happy.  Even when things are hard and facing the challenges of the day ahead seem daunting I am comforted as I watch Him.  I guess I now associate the sunrise with the quiet hope I have in the Lord.

I also love the end of this.  I love being reminded that the master won't walk out and fail to return.  He loves me.  He listens.  In a day an age where many of our connections with others are largely through social media and text messages this seems very personal.  

I am learning that no matter how hard life gets I can find a beautiful quiet hope in the Lord.  Sometimes I hope and get a different answer than I want.  Sometimes I hope and God has me wait.  Sometimes I hope and His answers come quickly.  No matter the answer finding quiet hope each morning is a beautiful gift.

Day 29... Ready, Set...... #31days

I have a morning routine.  Do you?  When I follow my morning routine I get most of what needs to be done.  When things get out of order I miss (or almost miss) things.

When we had this precious girl home as a newborn we of course had a diaper bag ready to go.  Just like all parents there are standard things that HAD to leave the house with us every time (or else we would go back and start again).  After a while we also had a hospital bag ready to go.  This had some things for her but also things for me.  Seriously, asking the husband to look in a specific drawer in a specific place isn't always effective (do we remember the pants?).

The hospital bag stayed packed for a long time (like 6 or 7 years I think).  Our hospitalizations happen less frequently and we are better at knowing when it is coming so I can usually grab my essentials just before we leave or while waiting for the doctor to return the call.

We have found routine and order to be so helpful for many aspect of caring of Alex.  For 11 years we had the same nutrition routine for her.  It was amazing how often we would look at a clock or she would ask for her formula at just 2:30 each afternoon.  It became the family clock and we all moved by it.

For the past two and a half months we have made changes to this well run routine.  This has been hard for all of us.  We are having to think about many things.  I know we will all get better at it and we already have.

It all reminds me that God does like for us to be prepared.  Throughout the Bible there are references to things that need to be prepared and things that have been prepared.  1 Peter 3:15 says "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

Many of my daily routines and disciplines help me prepare for the physical needs of my day but also for the spiritual needs.  I need to be ready and prepared.  God has done an amazing work in me and has given me a great hope.  The hope I have in Jesus surpassed anything I can imagine here on earth.

Daily I need to prepare for my family but I also need to prepare for what God has for me each day.  So, are you ready, set....?

Day 28... Not Called To Go To Africa #31days

In college it seemed like the thing to do was "GO".  As a growing believer I was surrounded by many who were being called into ministry.  Many have gone.  Many of these same people are my heroes.

I did attend a wonderful missions conference because I had been challenged to "go and get a bigger picture of who God is".  The world was certainly opening up for me but unlike my peers I still did not feel the call to go to Africa or another part of the world.

I always wondered if I was wrong some how.  I do like the comforts of warm showers and air conditioning but I wasn't trying to tell God I wouldn't go.  I just didn't seem to be called to "go".

Matthew 28:19 says "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..."

I have always wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing God's call on my life.  Even before I became a mom I have loved pouring myself into the lives of young women.  Women who wanted to know God better and walk according to His ways.  I had the opportunity to disciple a few women.  I get great joy in praying for them still.

Once Alex came into my life I began to see the mission God had for me didn't mean I had to "go" actually but my mission field might be a bit smaller.  At first I felt trapped by the tiny life we were living.  I was lonely and tired and stuck at home to "protect" my girl a LOT.  Some days were very difficult.  It took a while before I was able to see outside of myself and my home.

While my "go" looks different from some amazing men and women who have "gone" to many different parts of the world I am getting more content with God's call on my life.  For now, today anyway, I am to be here att home.  I have the joy to disciple two beautiful, talented, spunky, God-loving little women.  These days are special and precious.  Some days are frustrating with a tween and a teen girl.  Together we will move from one day to the next and I am living an amazing call on my life to be the mom of these two girls.

I hope my heart stays aware of God's call on my life as we continue to go.  I pray that I will see those around me who need to know the hope of Jesus.  I also am thankful that God has a special mission even for me.

Day 27... Fuel for the Journey #31days

This is the end of the hopscotch.  Along with friends and family who signed we took this stone to the pediatrician's office.  There the office staff added their signatures to our hopscotch.  This was special because they had been and have continued to be an important part of our journey.  We need them.  They answer questions, investigate issues, advocate for her, and care for her along the way.

Is it odd this doctor's office is one of her favorite places to go?  I don't think so.  They have supported us in beautiful ways.  We do our part.  We work diligently to make sure we are not taking advantage of them.  We work with them and what they have going on to determine the best actions for us to take.

Over the years I have gotten to know many staff well.  I pray for them regularly.  I don't know how often they are thanked for what they do.  I don't know how well supported they are for the difficult moments they help many families navigate through.

Ephesians 6:10 says, "Finally be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power."  This is the verse on this stone.

We did not know what we would be needing as she got older but we all need to find our strength in the Lord.  I know we do not know what is ahead but I do know that He has been with us at every step.  I am always learning things and finding my safest place is when I am depending on Him.

Day 26... Starting Line, Traveling Buddies.... #31days

At the starting line of this entire journey we were surrounded by friends and family.  How appropriate that our staring line (and finish line) of our hopscotch incorporated them!  

During that first birthday celebration our family and friend gathered to honor what God had done and celebrate the victory this first birthday represented.

1 Samuel 1:27 says "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I ask of him."

We had all prayed.  God had answered.  These may be my favorite stones out there.  It represents the community of believers that surrounded us and Alex.  They gave us hope when we were discouraged.  They have also continued to be there every step of the way.

I know they must grow weary of this continuing journey but I also see the special relationship they have with both of my girls.  Our girls are blessed and I love the sweet place in my heart that warms up just thinking about the traveling buddies God has provided for us and this amazing journey!!!